What We Have Here, Is A Failure To Communicate
Today's entry is not merely a reference to the classic film Cool Hand Luke, but rather a stumbling block that occurs in every aspect of our lives, from personal relationships through to work relationships, with Project Management being no exception. I cannot recall how many times I've personally received the "communication" speech, let alone delivered it to someone else. So what is the problem? Why is communication so difficult to master? While I'm sure that there are a lot of possible reasons, below are my thoughts on this age old dilemma.
Vulnerability ~ As human beings, I think that we all tend to be vulnerable on some level. Nobody wants to open themselves up, for the fear of getting hurt and therefore we go out of our way to put up a shield of protection, to close ourselves off from the rest of the world. So how does this tie into communication? By talking out loud and sharing your concerns or your need for help, you have now opened yourself up, allowing people to see your weaknesses. The key to overcoming this, is to recognize that we are ALL vulnerable and that opening yourself up to others is simply another progression in life and that sometimes it will be hard and sometimes it will be easy, but in the end we exist stronger as individuals when we open ourselves up to being part of something greater.
Hero Complex ~ Continuing on the same train of thought as the issue of vulnerability, though from a completely different angle, there is the hero complex. Not only do you not want to open yourself up, but you don't want to be dependent on anyone else either, you want to do it all yourself. Now the reasoning behind this could either be as I just mentioned, the idea of not wanting to be dependent on anyone else for fear that they might not always be there, or it could be that you want to claim all the fame and glory for yourself and therefore don't want anyone else involved to share in it. Looking at the first possibility, where you are scared of being dependent on others for fear that they might not support you continuously, I think that this is a valid concern, but a risk that should be taken, for even the smallest amount of support is often better than no support at all. As for the second possibility, of wanting all the fame and glory for yourself, I think that this is a very dangerous type of attitude and one that will end up limiting your growth in any type of relationship, both personal and work related. The amount of knowledge that we can attain ourselves is in no way comparable to what we can learn from others and shutting yourself off and choosing that path of solitude, is choosing a static lonely life in a world of endless possibilities.
Fear ~ "There's no such thing as a stupid question..." a phrase I'm sure we've all heard at some point in our lives, but truthfully, how many of us actually believe it? I cannot count how many times I've personally witnessed a project blow up, simply because someone was too scared to admit that they needed help, that they didn't understand, that they couldn't do it alone... Playing again off the theme of vulnerability, people are afraid to show their weaknesses and therefore go out of their way, not necessarily to strengthen those weaknesses, but rather to strengthen the appearance of a lack of weakness. The downfall is that there is only so much you can do on your own, and no amount of pretending is going to change that. Asking for help doesn't show your weakness, but rather it shows your strength in accepting the fact that there is ALWAYS something to learn and someone out there to learn from!
Discomfort ~ This last possibility for lack of communication, I hope is a unique one, but I figured that I would mention it as I have personally come against this one in the workplace. So, discomfort, the idea that you can't talk to someone due to personal reasons. A simple solution would be to move to a different department or job thus avoiding any type of awkwardness or discomfort, but if you're like me, giving up and avoiding confrontation is rarely a solution that I am going to take. So, what can you do? Face the issue head on, work past your differences, and move forward together. While this is often easier said than done and will definitely take some time to accomplish, the outcome, tends to be well worth the effort.
Hero Complex ~ Continuing on the same train of thought as the issue of vulnerability, though from a completely different angle, there is the hero complex. Not only do you not want to open yourself up, but you don't want to be dependent on anyone else either, you want to do it all yourself. Now the reasoning behind this could either be as I just mentioned, the idea of not wanting to be dependent on anyone else for fear that they might not always be there, or it could be that you want to claim all the fame and glory for yourself and therefore don't want anyone else involved to share in it. Looking at the first possibility, where you are scared of being dependent on others for fear that they might not support you continuously, I think that this is a valid concern, but a risk that should be taken, for even the smallest amount of support is often better than no support at all. As for the second possibility, of wanting all the fame and glory for yourself, I think that this is a very dangerous type of attitude and one that will end up limiting your growth in any type of relationship, both personal and work related. The amount of knowledge that we can attain ourselves is in no way comparable to what we can learn from others and shutting yourself off and choosing that path of solitude, is choosing a static lonely life in a world of endless possibilities.
Fear ~ "There's no such thing as a stupid question..." a phrase I'm sure we've all heard at some point in our lives, but truthfully, how many of us actually believe it? I cannot count how many times I've personally witnessed a project blow up, simply because someone was too scared to admit that they needed help, that they didn't understand, that they couldn't do it alone... Playing again off the theme of vulnerability, people are afraid to show their weaknesses and therefore go out of their way, not necessarily to strengthen those weaknesses, but rather to strengthen the appearance of a lack of weakness. The downfall is that there is only so much you can do on your own, and no amount of pretending is going to change that. Asking for help doesn't show your weakness, but rather it shows your strength in accepting the fact that there is ALWAYS something to learn and someone out there to learn from!
Discomfort ~ This last possibility for lack of communication, I hope is a unique one, but I figured that I would mention it as I have personally come against this one in the workplace. So, discomfort, the idea that you can't talk to someone due to personal reasons. A simple solution would be to move to a different department or job thus avoiding any type of awkwardness or discomfort, but if you're like me, giving up and avoiding confrontation is rarely a solution that I am going to take. So, what can you do? Face the issue head on, work past your differences, and move forward together. While this is often easier said than done and will definitely take some time to accomplish, the outcome, tends to be well worth the effort.
Looking at the above reasons, while they are all completely valid, they do seem to share the same major flaw, and that is that they overlook the concept of a TEAM. What is a team? According to Wikipedia, a team is comprised of many people with complementary skills, which generate a synergy through a coordinated effort for a common purpose. So how does communication play into teamwork? Simple, communication is the glue that holds a team together, it is what keeps us all on the same page, moving in the same direction, towards the same end goal. Without communication, all is lost, and that end goal drifts further and further away from being a reality and becomes more and more some good idea that someone once had.
So in the end, my suggestion to all those out there who have trouble communicating, all I can say is make the effort, take the risk, the reward that comes from good communication, is priceless.
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